My Fiancé Is Studying To Become A Jehovah’s Witness. How Can I Challenge His Decision?

 Marriage and Dating

MY FIANCÉ IS STUDYING TO BECOME A JEHOVAH’S WITNESS. What Questions Can I Ask To Challenge His Decision?

“I am a committed Christian, but my fiancé just started studying to become a Jehovah’s Witness.  The thought of one of my closest loved ones joining this cult scares me.  He has two sisters who are very hypocritical Jehovah’s Witnesses.  What should I do?  What questions should I ask and what should I avoid when talking to him about his choice of religion?


Dear Friend,

It is good that you are concerned about the decision your fiancé has made to begin studying with the Jehovah’s Witnesses.  The fact that his sisters are Jehovah’s Witnesses and the fact that he waited until you were committed to marrying him before he started “studying” to join this religion makes us wonder if he had prior experience in this religion and has just been waiting for the right time to bring this religion into your relationship.

Do you know if he was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness?  Was he baptized into the Jehovah’s Witnesses but “disfellowshipped” (kicked out) prior to meeting you?  If his sisters are recent converts and this is his first experience with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, there is a good chance that he simply doesn’t know what he is getting into and you may be able to intervene to help him change his mind.

However, if he has had prior experience in this religion and is simply “studying” to be reinstated, we strongly suggest that you immediately put off your wedding plans and put your engagement on hold until the religion factor can be resolved in your relationship.  This is because the mind control used by the Watchtower organization runs deep and if he was raised in this environment, he will need to undergo serious deprogramming before he will be comfortable in conventional Christianity.  If this is the case, the following articles will be most helpful for you:


bullets DATING AND MARRYING A JEHOVAH’S WITNESS: Should I convert to the Jehovah’s Witness religion to continue dating my Jehovah’s Witness girlfriend? What should we expect if I don’t convert and she leaves her religion for me? 


bullets WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW TO RESCUE YOUR LOVED ONE FROM JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES —How to Open the Closed Mind of a Jehovah’s Witness Friend or Relative

Regardless of whether he was raised in the Jehovah’s Witness or is converting for the first time, you are in an awkward situation by the fact that his family is involved with the Jehovah’s Witnesses.  Caution is needed in the way that you approach religious discussions with him because he has likely been programmed to view any opposition to his beliefs as persecution and a sign that he is following “the truth.”  Because Satan opposes “the truth,” he has been taught to expect criticism from non-Jehovah’s Witness friends and loved ones who they believe are under Satan’s influence. Thus, if he has already bought into what they are telling him, the minute you criticize his religion, he will close his mind off to your views and trust them alone.

This is why we suggest that when someone first starts studying with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, his non-Jehovah’s Witness relatives should act fast to rescue him before the Jehovah’s Witnesses win his trust away from them.  One way you can test your fiancé to see if he is open to criticism of the Jehovah’s Witness religion is to ask him if he has looked at any research from those who outside this group.  Has he considered what former Jehovah’s Witnesses have to say about this religion?  You can ask:

“Which source do you think would be more credible to determine the quality of a used car: The salesman trying to sell the car or the former owner?  In the same way, don’t you think the testimony of former members would be important to consider when evaluating a particular religion?”

If he is open to considering critical information about the Jehovah’s Witnesses, you can encourage him to read the testimonies of former Jehovah’s Witnesses posted on our website and present the following article that is one of the best resources we have to help people who have just begun to study with the Jehovah’s Witnesses:



However, if he reacts to your questions with statements like: “I know this religion is ‘the truth’ and I would NEVER look at apostate ** information,” you know he is already under the Jehovah’s Witness cult-controlled mindset and you will have to approach him with subtle questions dealing with his trust in the Watchtower authority, instead of openly criticizing this religion head on.  Again, if he appears to be closed to re-evaluating his choice to pursue the Jehovah’s Witness religion, we highly recommend that you put your engagement on hold (2 Corinthians 6:14) and study the following resources on our website that will guide you in the process of asking the types of questions that may help him reconsider his decision:

bullets HOW TO WITNESS EFFECTIVELY TO JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES – Breaking the Watchtower Barrier Step-by-Step

bullets “IF YOU WANT TO DIALOGUE EFFECTIVELY” Section of QUESTIONS TO ASK JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES WHEN THEY KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR –-A Step-by-Step Guide for Christians Witnessing to Jehovah’s Witnesses


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