My Jehovah’s Witness girlfriend stopped dating me. What can I do?



“I read your website article where you discussed the pros and cons of a relationship with a Jehovah’s Witness. I agree with you that the Bible warns that a Christian should not marry outside of the Christian faith. However, I was raised Catholic and I have been dating a lady who was also raised Catholic but who had converted along with her parents to the Jehovah’s Witnesses several years ago.  Now, my girlfriend and I have been in love with each other for the past several years, but the principles and rules of her Jehovah’s Witness religion and her parents are against our relationship. They think that I am not a believer in Jehovah because I am Catholic, and their religion dictates that she cannot marry outside of the Jehovah’s Witness faith.

I believe that there are rules, principles, feelings, and blessings of Jehovah God that no organization in this world can ever understand.  I also think that if any organization or person claims that he or she possesses the right or power to interfere in these matters, then I think the organization or the person is trying to take the place of Jehovah God in the lives of others.  In our case, we both have felt that Jehovah God has created, blessed and accepted our relationship.  Yet, she has been forced to hate me and she is not even talking to me.

This lady who used to love me so much and who used to pray to God for the safety and continuation of our relationship, now because of these principles, says that we can’t marry each other because of the differences between our religions.  Has Jehovah God, Jesus Christ and Bible created such principles to separate two people who are in LOVE with each other? I also follow the Bible and do not accept any of the teachings of the Catholic Church that are not in agreement with the Bible. I have also been studying with the Jehovah’s Witnesses in hope of being baptized someday. But my willingness to follow the Bible and study her religion is not good enough for my girlfriend and her parents to allow her to date me. What can I do?  Why can’t we both marry each other and live our lives by the principles of Jehovah God and the Bible alone?”


Dear friend,

We feel for where you are in this.  Indeed, you are suffering from a broken heart. We agree with you that a person who is truly in love with another person should be able to put their relationship with that person before any commitment to a human organization (such as the Watchtower Society). The Bible is clear that God did not institute a religious organization to save mankind, but rather an individual – Jesus Christ— Who paid the price for sin so that those who place their faith and trust in Him alone can be forgiven and have eternal life (1 Corinthians 15:1-4; 1 John 5:11-13; Romans 10:9).  No religious organization can intercede between you and Jehovah God, because the Bible declares that the Lord Jesus Christ is to be the ONLY mediator between mankind and God (1 Timothy 2:5).

We also agree with you that if your beliefs are in agreement with the Bible and you have put your trust in the Jesus of Bible (not the counterfeit Jesus of the Watchtower) to save you, this is what is important for any marriage relationship to have a solid foundation.  Just as the Bible says at 1 Corinthians 3:11: “For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.”

Unfortunately, what you are telling us about how your Jehovah’s Witness girlfriend is putting her religion and the feelings of her parents over your relationship is serious.  Indeed, she does not understand that according to the Bible, if your beliefs are in agreement and grounded in the Bible, this is all that should matter—whether or not you are committed by baptism to a religious organization (such as the Jehovah’s Witnesses).  But what you are seeing with her is just the beginning of a deep-rooted aspect of the Jehovah’s Witness religion that would affect any long-term relationship with her if she remains a committed Jehovah’s Witness. So, before you pursue your romantic feelings for her further, you need to understand these facts about the Jehovah’s Witness religion:

  1. THE JEHOVAH’S WITNESS RELIGION REQUIRES TOTAL DEVOTION TO ITS ORGANIZATION’S RULES.  When your girlfriend was baptized into the Jehovah’s Witness religion, she made a commitment to follow Jehovah God by obeying the doctrines and rules of the Watchtower Society.  Thus, in order for your girlfriend to remain in the organization as a Jehovah’s Witness in good standing, she is required to adhere to all of its policies, whether or not the policies are right according to the Bible. Behind the pressure from parents that your girlfriend is experiencing to end her dating relationship with you, undoubtedly, the Watchtower elders warned her that if she continued to disregard their policy to date only active, baptized Jehovah’s Witnesses, they would “disfellowship” her.
  1. JEHOVAH’S WITNESS DISFELLOWSHIPPING POLICIES DIVIDE FAMILIES:  To fully comprehend how serious the threat of “disfellowshipping” is to your Jehovah’s Witness girlfriend, you must realize that when a Jehovah’s Witness is expelled from the organization by becoming “disfellowshipped,” her reputation among the Witnesses is destroyed, her friends and family are required to “shun” her and keep unnecessary communication with her to a minimum, and she is told that she will “die” at God’s future battle of Armageddon with no hope of resurrection if she does not repent and return to the organization in humiliation and work hard to prove worthy of “reinstatement” into the Jehovah’s Witnesses.  Do you have any idea of the pressure that this kind of threat puts on your girlfriend? Can you see why it doesn’t matter how much she loves you, as a Jehovah’s Witness, she is required to “love” the organization first and foremost or she will lose everyone and everything she has ever held dear as a Jehovah’s Witness?  
  1. WATCHTOWER RULES OVERIDE THE PRINCIPLES OF THE BIBLE IN THE LIVES OF JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES:  Although Jehovah’s Witnesses claim to adhere to strict Bible beliefs and standards, this is not the case. Jesus said that people would recognize His true followers by the “love” they have among themselves (John 13:34-35).  Yet, the unloving way Jehovah’s Witnesses disfellowship and shun those who do not measure up to their standards by cutting them off from their friends and family, and (in your case) those who truly love them, is evidence that they are not following Christ.  You said it best when you said that any organization that claims to posses the “power to interfere” with the feelings and blessings of Jehovah God, “is trying to take the place of Jehovah God in the lives of others.”  This is effectively what the Jehovah’s Witness organization has done to your girlfriend.  The Watchtower Society has taken the place in her heart that should only be reserved for Jehovah God and His Word—the Bible.
  1. IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES EXIST BETWEEN JEHOVAH’S WITNESS BELIEFS AND THE BIBLE:  Earlier we noted that according to the teachings of the Bible, the only “foundation” one should build his/her life and marriage upon is the foundation of the Lord Jesus Christ. There is nothing in the Bible that allows for a religious organization to interfere in one’s personal relationship with God, for the Bible declares that Jesus is to be our only mediator (1 Timothy 2:5).  Yet, not only are Jehovah’s Witnesses, not allowed to view Jesus as their personal “mediator” (see Worldwide Security Under the “Prince of Peace,” p. 10), but they are required to adhere to the Watchtower’s policies over the simple teachings of Christ. An examination of the Jehovah’s Witness belief system will reveal that important Biblical doctrines, such as matters related to salvation and eternal life, are completely distorted by the Watchtower.  Visit the following website link below to view a comparison chart that contrasts the differences between Jehovah’s Witness beliefs and true biblical Christian beliefs.

As you can see, if your girlfriend wishes to remain loyal to her Jehovah’s Witness faith, you both would have to make serious compromises in your religious convictions before a committed marriage relationship would be possible.  Our hope and prayer is that you would study the Bible and reevaluate her Jehovah’s Witness religion with a goal of winning her heart to make a commitment to the true Jesus of the Bible, before you go any further in studying with Jehovah’s Witnesses and pursuing a romantic relationship with your Jehovah’s Witness girlfriend.


bullets DATING AND MARRYING A JEHOVAH’S WITNESS: Should I convert to the Jehovah’s Witnesses? What happens if my girlfriend leaves Jehovah’s Witnesses for me?

bullets FAQ Help – Jehovah’s Witness Dating and Marriage

bullets WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW TO RESCUE YOUR LOVED ONE FROM JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES —How to Open the Closed Mind of a Jehovah’s Witness Friend or Relative

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