My Jehovah’s Witness brother committed suicide in Jehovah’s Witnesses. Will Jehovah forgive?

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.:MY JEHOVAH’S WITNESS BROTHER COMMITTED SUICIDE.  WILL JEHOVAH FORGIVE?  CAN YOU HELP ME?

I need help dealing with the death of my Jehovah’s Witness brother who just committed suicide.  My brother and I were raised Jehovah’s Witness, but when I and my mother were disfellowshipped, my brother took it real hard as he could no longer be part of our lives.  Like so many Witnesses, he tried hard to be perfect and when he wasn’t able to live up to their standards, it literally killed him.  He had doubts and questions that he was never allowed to ask as he had been told that this was ‘independent thinking’ and ‘pride.’  So, he buried his thoughts and feelings and constantly strove to perform better, while he secretly suffered from severe depression and an obsessive, compulsive disorder. His marriage to a Jehovah’s Witness had failed and because of the Watchtower policy against remarriage, he could never have kids and was doomed to life alone.  Once he tried to start a ‘bible study’ with my son as this would be a way that he could have contact with us, but when an elder told him that he was not ‘spiritually strong enough’ to study with my son, even that was ripped from him.  He felt like a failure and had nothing to live for.  He left a note telling us that he ‘loved us’ and begging for our forgiveness. He asked us to cremate him and ‘dispose’ of his ashes. He believed as all Witnesses do that suicide is an unforgivable sin, but in his eyes, he was a walking dead person anyway, so why did that matter?  My brother is not in a dumpster but in all of our homes. I know it is just ashes, but it’s all I have.  How do I begin to build a relationship with God on a personal level and learn to trust religion? Do you think suicide is black and white with Jehovah or do you think my brother could one day find happiness? If I, an imperfect human, can forgive him, why can’t Jehovah who is love? Please help me!” Continue reading “My Jehovah’s Witness brother committed suicide in Jehovah’s Witnesses. Will Jehovah forgive?”

Tammie – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness

tammie.: TAMMIE – Former Jehovah’s Witness Pioneer

Raised by Jehovah’s Witness parents (her father an elder), Tammie was confident she was in the only true religion. Pioneering in her 30’s (spending at least 90 hours per month), she reported an average of 10 “Bible studies” and placed 100’s of Watchtower magazines and books monthly. As a skilled debator, Tammie gave frequent “talks” and “demonstrations” at Theocratic Ministry School from age 7. She was considered the model “Witness” by her family and friends, until the conditional love she had embraced failed and everything in her life fell apart. Only in Christ, did Tammie find what she had been looking for. Continue reading “Tammie – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness”

Pam – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness

pam.:PAM

“The Making of a Missfit – A Princess of the King!”

I was supposed to be the little boy who’d save my parents marriage, but by the time I was born, my dad had moved 2000 miles away and never came back.  My mom remarried when I was 3, but divorced him after 6 months, after discovering he was homosexual.  By then, she was easy prey for her 4 younger sisters who convinced her to join them in becoming Jehovah’s Witnesses.

I loved my mom a lot as a small child, but lost respect for her as I watched her allow this organization to rule our lives, forbidding everything from celebrating birthdays and Christmas to receiving a life-saving blood transfusion.  Every word we were or were not allowed to say was carefully dictated, and constantly changing.  We first called our gatherings “classes,” but later we were ordered to refer to them only as “meetings.”  We were required to know the latest terminology, and it always changed.  The person in charge of the congregation went from being a “Congregation Servant” to an “Overseer” to—I think today—an “Elder.”  We’d been instructed to call them the “Judicial Committee.”   This struck terror in my heart, as I believed they were appointed by Jehovah Himself, Who, I believed, was terribly harsh and demanding. Continue reading “Pam – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness”

Jason – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness

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.:THE TESTIMONY OF JASON – How God Rescued Me and My Family

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My story is similar to many ex-Witnesses. My father attended the Pentecostal church and revivalist meetings in and around the Boston area in rural Lincolnshire England during the 1960’s. My mother was christened into the Anglican Church although she was not active there. When I was born in 1971, my father and mother did not attend church but still had an inner love of God.

In the early 1970’s, my uncle Derrick (who was married to my father’s sister) began a study with the Jehovah’s Witnesses from the Horncastle Congregation. He had been raised a Catholic, but with the help of the Witnesses, quickly accepted the Watchtower Society’s theology. In a short time, he was converted and baptised.  My uncle was articulate in his defense of Watchtower doctrine and he would tie my dad up in knots with biblical quotes. My uncle as a new convert was very zealous. However, he failed to convince his wife and after the 1975 failed Watchtower prophecy about the end times, he became inactive. As the years went by, he became more and more depressed, feeling he had let God down (a common trait in those who drift away from the organisation). Continue reading “Jason – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness”

Dennis – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness

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 .:THE TESTIMONY OF DENNIS

I was born and raised as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. From about 7 years old, I was active in the Jehovah’s Witness ministry and enrolled in the Watchtower Theocratic Ministry School. The biggest thing I remember about my childhood was constant fear. I took the Watchtower idea of “Armageddon” seriously. (The Watchtower teaches that Armageddon is a battle God will bring to the earth that will end all world governments and destroy all wicked people, including unworthy Jehovah’s Witnesses). I was afraid that if I or any of my siblings did anything wrong, Armageddon would come and we would not survive. Continue reading “Dennis – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness”

Kevin – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness

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.: THE TESTIMONY OF KEVIN – An Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Delivered from Homosexuality

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I was born in Connecticut as the youngest of four children in 1955 when gas was still $.39 per gallon. At this time in culture, people didn’t talk about homosexual feelings. It was taboo to even insinuate such things. When the word “gay” was used, people would not think of homosexuality. Instead, they would think of being “happy” or a having “joyful” time, like a festival.  So, people wouldn’t say, “he’s queer” or “he’s different.”  If someone used the term “queer,” it made you feel that you were really a FREAK of nature.  And you were totally ostracized from society. So, to be sensitive, people would just say, “He’s one of THOSE.”

My mother did not know how to show affection.  Never once did she cuddle, hug me or tell me that she loved me.  My first recollection of her is a statement in which she told me:

“You were a mistake. I wish I never had you. You remind me of a BEAST!”  Continue reading “Kevin – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness”

Nancy – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness

nancy.:NANCY’S STORY – How The Watchtower Policy On No Blood Transfusions Impacted My Family

My involvement as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses came about through my mother who became a Witness when I was very young. My mother is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and this group came along in the door-to-door ministry and professed a more hopeful life for her.  But what this religion really did, over the course of more than 40 years, was to completely divide my family, including my parents who divorced 24 years ago. My mother has four children. The three of us who finally walked away, endured years of my mother’s shunning. Two of my brothers escaped before they considered committing suicide, and I walked away a year and a half after my husband Kurt’s death due to the Watchtower’s policy of not allowing blood transfusions.  My oldest brother nearly committed suicide before separating himself from our entire family. Another one of my brothers has struggled with homosexuality, had been disfellowshipped for it, but has returned to the Watchtower organization and no longer speaks to any of us, and my youngest brother became very depressed and close to suicide before finally leaving the organization. Continue reading “Nancy – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness”

Shereen – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness

shereenSHEREEN

I’m a 23 year old mother of two boys. I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness: Five meetings a week, breakfast bible study, tea bible study, family bible study, weekends spent knocking doors and hours of preparation for the meetings were a normality for me. The amount of daily time we spent “studying the bible” through the Watchtower literature, I can only compare to nuns at a convent.

My father was an “Elder” which meant we rarely saw our dad—let alone spent fun time with him. He would come home from work and eat his meal with us. Then, he’d disappear off to his room to do, yet more religious study and preparation for meetings he would be leading. He rarely did anything in the house for my mother or us.

When I started school, my eyes saw happy, loved children with happy loving parents. It was so opposite to my life. The children would laugh when I said my prayers. They cried and screamed when I told them that they would soon die at Armageddon because they worshipped Satan. (I caused a few problems for my parents for telling that Jehovah’s Witness belief at school.) As a child, my prepared speeches were designed to simulate knocking on the doors of adults, not the doors of 5 to 9 year olds. Some of my teachers were afraid of me because they believed that I as well as my parents was “possessed” by some kind of evil power. Slowly, I learned to be different at school, to hide my family and lifestyle, and slowly, the bullying from my classmates faded. Continue reading “Shereen – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness”

Beryl – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness

berylBERYL’S TESTIMONY

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Wow…how do you sum up a life in 3 pages? It would be a challenge for anyone but for a wordy woman like me….doubly so! Then I thought about the Author of my life story and realized that writing a three page testimony is no challenge for Him at all.

You see, for me, even as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, I always had complete and total trust in Jehovah’s power and faithfulness. When I fell in love with Him at the tender age of seven, He became my world and I couldn’t do or give Him enough of myself and my life. I loved Him, not just the organization. I was also raised that while we were part of the Watchtower, Bible and Tract Society, life was about serving Jehovah, not pleasing man, even in the organization. It never was about Paradise for me or any other benefits I could claim. During the 32 years in the organization, I don’t know how many Jehovah’s Witnesses looked at me like I had lost my mind when I would passionately express the following thought. Continue reading “Beryl – Ex-Jehovah’s Witness”