THE TESTIMONY OF AMBER
Over the years, I have felt a huge spiritual void. My parents divorced about 12 years ago and dad still believes in the religion but does not practice and my mom fell away completely. I stopped going to the meetings but continued praying to Jehovah because in my heart I felt it was the truth. I continued to believe in the Jehovah’s Witness beliefs and when asked about it, I would say, “I believe in the doctrine but there are some things I really don’t like, such as feeling constantly guilty and judged, other than that I believe in it.”
I started praying because I missed a sense of security. As a Jehovah’s Witness, we all believed in the same thing. We were a big family as long as we stayed in the religion. (Ironically, now my family is divided because of this religion.) I began to pray:
“Please Jehovah, I have everything I want except I need you and I have a huge spiritual void. I am soooo confused. I miss the sense of security I had as a Jehovah’s Witness. I miss the sense of family. I miss knowing my future in a beautiful paradise, perfect, healthy, and worshiping You. I need to go back to church, but where do I go? I don’t feel comfortable going back to Jehovah’s Witnesses. Something doesn’t seem right and I don’t want to feel judged and guilty again. But if that is the Truth and your Word, then please give me the strength to go back. Wherever your truth is, please guide me. I want my children to grow up happy and with the desire to help others. I want them to follow your path not because they are forced or feel guilty, but because they have the overwhelming desire to have complete faith in you and Jesus’ sacrifice for our sins. Not to judge anyone, but to just love them as you and Jesus do.”
This was almost a nightly prayer for me. I just kept praying and waiting an answer or something to guide me. I started talking a little bit more to other people about their beliefs because I noticed that many of them center their lives around God and Jesus. They seem so happy and loving to everyone, absolutely everyone. I was kind of jealous. I went to a Community Church that someone had told me about without him that I loved. The message was strong and I felt God with me. I literally had the chills when I was there, the love in the room was just overwhelming.
But at that time, my husband was really against going with me to any church. He just wasn’t ready. But he and I have had a lot of challenges, one thing after another, yet we continue to be blessed. He hadn’t gone to church in a long time because he felt he was undeserving. Then he started to think, “If I am undeserving, why is God continuing to bless me?” He then said, “We need to go to church, but where?”
My husband was raised in a very similar religion to Jehovah’s Witnesses with very similar beliefs. It was required to become a member, to go to church every Sunday. Every person in the family needed to donate, you needed to preach to everyone you see, not celebrate the holidays, and do all these things or you would not be saved. We went to my husband’s church a few times, and I did not feel good about it at all. The people were unfriendly, looked forced, and unhappy. I just couldn’t see myself raising my kids in this type of church.
I continued praying because I needed my entire family, including my husband, to be together in worshiping God. I got the courage to talk to my husband about everything that was going through my mind. I told him that I want the kids to feel love and support in their lives. We needed to find a church where there is room for error, where the people will still love you and so will God, ask for forgiveness and repent and most importantly have faith in God and Jesus’ sacrifice for our sins. I told him that I have prayed for God to open my heart to the truth. I can tell you now I have more clarity than I ever have because I am thirsty, searching for truth, and happiness.
I was at work a few weeks ago and talking to the guy I work with about religion. I was trying to defend the Jehovah’s Witness doctrine. He said to me, I strongly encourage you to look into the New World Translation (Jehovah’s Witness Bible) to see where it came from, who made it, and what was changed in it. Compare it to the most well known and oldest Bible. My mind started swirling. I couldn’t wait to get home to find out what the difference is. Could it be that different? I prayed for Jehovah’s Holy Spirit to give me the courage and strength to find out.
My mind was going crazy with question after question. I just believed what the Watchtower Society told me was “the truth” and never questioned anything. I just had to know. Well, if by their belief, I am not going to be saved anyway, why not find out the answers to these questions?
- What was changed in the New World Translation compared to more well-known and older Bibles?
- Why do Jehovah’s Witnesses believe in the stake, not a cross?
- What is the true definition of the Trinity?
- Why are the Jehovah’s Witnesses the only organization that believes in the paradise earth?
- Why don’t they believe in hell? If heaven is real, why isn’t hell?
- Who is Charles Taze Russell?
- Why do Jehovah’s Witnesses encourage people not to read any other literature?
- Why do Jehovah’s Witnesses shun people that they once considered their brother/sister rather than help them?
- What is the real truth if the Watchtower Organization isn’t right?
- What do I have to do so that I know in my heart of hearts that I have been saved?
- How do I save my family and show them the road to salvation?
This is just a few of the questions I had and need answers too. I pray all day long for the guidance of God’s Holy Spirit to answer my questions and to help me to understand His Word. Open my heart to Him, have faith in Him and the things I cannot completely understand. I am learning so much and things that never really made much sense to me are becoming more clear. I feel now more than ever, God’s love and protection. I am filled with excitement, faith, and happiness.
I am a Christian and am now going to a local Christian community church. I feel closer to God than ever. I realized that the NWT bible is a translation that was done by only 4 men that manipulated it to say what they wanted it to say. After much research I know now Jesus is God. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. The Jehovah’s Witnesses are basically robots they are told what to believe and because of the severe brainwashing and fear they put into their people many don’t leave or even question the organization. They are told the definition of the Trinity is a 3-headed god which is not the case.
Jehovah’s Witnesses are made to believe Jesus is Michael the Archangel. They simply refuse to believe anything else because many were raised in the cult and that is it. Jehovah’s Witnesses use the same lines “The End of the World”, “Don’t you want to live forever in a paradise earth and never have to die?”. “I know in my heart I am in the truth.”
They are trained to say these things they don’t think for themselves. It’s really, really sad. Many in my family have and are dealing with mental issues that I believe are associated with following this false doctrine. Many so-called religions are so focused on works and forget about their relationship with God/Jesus. They say they are persecuted for their good works, but I felt more persecuted by them than anyone else.
I use to think I knew so much about the Bible. Now that I am actually attending a church that I love regularly and that only teaches from the Bible. I am learning more in 1 sermon than I did in almost 20 years of going to the Jehovah’s Witness meetings 5 times a week.
My church has an amazing children’s program that teaches the kids all about how much Jesus loves them. My church has outreach organizations to help feed the homeless, sick, and so on. Jehovah’s Witnesses do not have that. Two Jehovah’s Witnesses I recently talked to told me they use a Greek bible or the KJV. They have no idea that what they say they believe and what the KJV Bible says is not the same. They are more fearful of men than God.
Please if you have read this letter, entirely know that it comes from a place of love. If you are looking for resources to get answers to these questions, please pray for Jehovah to guide you to get answers and to give you the courage. When I finally started looking for answers, it was one of the scariest things I have ever done. I am so glad I did. I realize that much like many large religions, the members thought that the biggest things that mattered was works, and lost sight of gaining an actual relationship with God/Jesus. I feel like it is my ministry to witness to Jehovah’s Witnesses. My twin sister and I have been on this journey together.
May God Bless you!
This post is also available in: Spanish